Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I Think I’ll Start Eating Vegetarians

Seriously. If a diet of vegetables is so good for you then they should taste better … don’t you think?

For Christmas my Dad and I have been invited to my cousin’s house to have dinner with her and her family. Vegetarians. The lot of them. Not that I think they all want to be. The husband’s got this look of bewilderment every time he sits down at the table. His wife won’t tell him most of what he’s eating because she knows he wouldn’t like it (Quorn, anyone?) And the kids are just biding their time … you can tell. If you went in there with beefburgers strapped to your body they’d tear you apart like a pack of wolves.

But vegetables have feelings too, you know. Have you ever heard a carrot scream as it’s ripped mercilessly from its home in the ground? The pain of being peeled alive and then dismembered and thrown into a pan of boiling water. That’s gotta hurt. And potatoes get their eyes gouged out. The least they could do is stun the vegetables first.

I came across a blog written by a full-on, hard-core vegetarian (those words just don’t belong together, do they?) She talks about ‘non human animals’ as though we’re all the same species. But … and I’m not making this up … she has put her cat and her dog on vegetarian diets. She herself admits that this is not natural, but then goes on to say, “but natural is not always healthy”. Kind of undermines your whole argument there lady!

But if animals aren't supposed to be eaten, then why are they made out of meat?

Seriously, though, I don’t mind vegetarians. It’s anti-vivisectionists I really can’t stand. There’s one who has a table in the shopping centre in Cardiff. He wants me to sign his petition. It’s not that I’m in favour of animal testing. I just want him to do something more positive and affirmative and not expect me to get involved in his campaign. And I don’t mean fire-bombing some scientist and his family … or robbing the grave of someone’s grandmother. What I had in mind was for him to knock on the door of Huntingdon Life Sciences and say, “Let the beagle go … take me instead”.

I guess what I’m saying is that if we care about the other members of our species, and regard them as our friends, then we need to step up. Offer ourselves in their place so as to end their suffering. But nobody’s going to do that, are they? Especially not at this time of year.

I know it’s only a small start … but I’m going to save a turkey this Christmas. I’m going to eat a vegetarian instead.

Oh, and on a final note … and this worries me a lot …
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

well, i think you got yourself into that one! vegetarian christmas???? surely that's an oxymoron!

don't worry, i'll come over in the evening and we'll have a meat-fest - wear trousers with a stretchy waistband... here come the meat sweats! hee hee!

xx
 
LOL ... sounds like a plan!!!! Watch out fellas ... ur about to see something special!!!!!
 
Laugh out loud.
This is a fantastic post.
And if you're only eating veg this Christmas, does that mean that I can have extra turkey?????

Please post pictures of you and Claire in stretchy pants!
 
Caroline ... great to hear from you ... thanks for stopping by!!!
 
Ah, the funniness of great posts and friends quotes!

I will be doing the exact opposite this year and eating ONLY MEAT - this happens every time I come to Venezuela. And the closest thing I get to fruit is red wine to wash it down with. Not that I am complaining...

When I come home I will need at least three days of vegetarianism to recover!
 
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