Friday, February 02, 2007

It’s Getting Worse

It should be pretty clear to everyone by now that I shouldn’t be allowed to stay in alone or go out. That narrows down the options somewhat.

My latest escapade involved the Police. I don’t think they want me out and about in public either. Electronic tagging can’t be far off.

On Wednesday, I was driving out of Cardiff when I saw a policeman by the side of the road. He held up his hand. I waved back. Then he stepped out in front of me. I stopped the car to tell him how silly he was and what a dangerous thing that was to do. His opening words shut me up. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to impound your vehicle”. In advertising terms we call that an ‘attention-grabber’. I ran through the options in my head:

Car dirty … not an offence.
Playing Alannis Morisette loudly … only offensive to some.
Speeding … actually I wasn’t.
Dancing as I drove … don’t think I was doing that either.
On the phone? Nah … haven’t paid the bill so I can’t use the phone.

I needn’t have worried … the Officer seemed eager to tell me.

“You’re driving without insurance”.

We had quite a discussion about THAT, I can tell you. It didn’t quite get into …
“I have SO got insurance” … “You SO have not” etc. but it was close. It seems they have a ‘system’ of informing the Police. Just not one of informing me.

I had to accompany him to his car and get in the back. There were no handcuffs involved. I asked, but he refused.

Lots of question followed, and checks on his radio, and filling in of forms. It was a really nice car, black leather seats, drinks holders, child-locks. I wouldn’t mind a car like that. Pretty, too, though I don’t usually go for blue and yellow together. And I would LOVE one of those radios where you ask questions and someone answers. “How am I doing for bread and milk, over?” “You need to pick some up on the way home, over”. “Awww, go on … will you do it for me, over?” “oh, alright then, over and out”. Bliss.

Anyway. It turned out I hadn’t paid my renewal premium. Since November.

Of course, I could neither confirm nor deny that. Not the 5th Amendment or anything clever like that … just HOW was I supposed to KNOW one way or the other?

He asked me if I’d noticed money hadn’t gone out of my account and that I had more in there than I should have. I didn’t laugh out loud because I think it was a serious comment. He just didn’t know me that well yet. He was bemused when I told him that I don’t even OPEN my Bank Statements (he’s probably one of those REALLY organised people who knows how much money they’ve got. I do too. It’s nothing.) He soon realised I wasn’t wicked … just stupid. It usually takes people a lot longer to figure that out, so well done him.

At first, he wanted to impound my vehicle there and then, fine me £1,000, send me to court and get me banned from driving.

But instead he let me off. What a nice man.

So sometime soon I REALLY need to get this insurance sorted.

Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear.
You've got to admit that it's kind of really sort of laugh out loud funny ... in a 'oh dear how awful' kind of way.
But it all turned out happily ever after in the end.
Caroline ... I'm learning to deal with the consequences of my ineptitude. And having a laugh along the way.
Isn't it ironic that only last week we were talking about what a 'challenge' it would be to have no car?!
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