Friday, February 02, 2007

It’s Getting Worse

It should be pretty clear to everyone by now that I shouldn’t be allowed to stay in alone or go out. That narrows down the options somewhat.

My latest escapade involved the Police. I don’t think they want me out and about in public either. Electronic tagging can’t be far off.

On Wednesday, I was driving out of Cardiff when I saw a policeman by the side of the road. He held up his hand. I waved back. Then he stepped out in front of me. I stopped the car to tell him how silly he was and what a dangerous thing that was to do. His opening words shut me up. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to impound your vehicle”. In advertising terms we call that an ‘attention-grabber’. I ran through the options in my head:

Car dirty … not an offence.
Playing Alannis Morisette loudly … only offensive to some.
Speeding … actually I wasn’t.
Dancing as I drove … don’t think I was doing that either.
On the phone? Nah … haven’t paid the bill so I can’t use the phone.

I needn’t have worried … the Officer seemed eager to tell me.

“You’re driving without insurance”.

We had quite a discussion about THAT, I can tell you. It didn’t quite get into …
“I have SO got insurance” … “You SO have not” etc. but it was close. It seems they have a ‘system’ of informing the Police. Just not one of informing me.

I had to accompany him to his car and get in the back. There were no handcuffs involved. I asked, but he refused.

Lots of question followed, and checks on his radio, and filling in of forms. It was a really nice car, black leather seats, drinks holders, child-locks. I wouldn’t mind a car like that. Pretty, too, though I don’t usually go for blue and yellow together. And I would LOVE one of those radios where you ask questions and someone answers. “How am I doing for bread and milk, over?” “You need to pick some up on the way home, over”. “Awww, go on … will you do it for me, over?” “oh, alright then, over and out”. Bliss.

Anyway. It turned out I hadn’t paid my renewal premium. Since November.

Of course, I could neither confirm nor deny that. Not the 5th Amendment or anything clever like that … just HOW was I supposed to KNOW one way or the other?

He asked me if I’d noticed money hadn’t gone out of my account and that I had more in there than I should have. I didn’t laugh out loud because I think it was a serious comment. He just didn’t know me that well yet. He was bemused when I told him that I don’t even OPEN my Bank Statements (he’s probably one of those REALLY organised people who knows how much money they’ve got. I do too. It’s nothing.) He soon realised I wasn’t wicked … just stupid. It usually takes people a lot longer to figure that out, so well done him.

At first, he wanted to impound my vehicle there and then, fine me £1,000, send me to court and get me banned from driving.

But instead he let me off. What a nice man.


So sometime soon I REALLY need to get this insurance sorted.

Comments:
Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear.
You've got to admit that it's kind of really sort of laugh out loud funny ... in a 'oh dear how awful' kind of way.
But it all turned out happily ever after in the end.
;-)
 
Caroline ... I'm learning to deal with the consequences of my ineptitude. And having a laugh along the way.
 
Isn't it ironic that only last week we were talking about what a 'challenge' it would be to have no car?!
 
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