Monday, September 15, 2008

Size Matters

On Saturday I went to The Giant Vegetable Show at Llanharry Working Men’s Club.

What a life I lead.

And there were some whoppers. I mean bring-em-in-on-a-forklift truck whoppers.

It was like being in the Land Of The Giants … minus the Jolly Green Giant (unless he was hiding behind the pumpkin).

They take their veg very seriously in Llanharry. I was told that some feed their prize specimens on Guinness. Wouldn’t surprise me.

I guess it must be Nirvana for vegans. But I found it a bit scary. Some of the carrots, for instance, were way too knobbly to be attractive. And some things you couldn’t even tell what they were. We guessed at beetroot and artichoke but really they could have been alien life forms.

The winning pumpkin came in at 377.27 kg; the biggest leek at 6.2 kg; the cabbage weighed 26.4 kg; and the longest runner bean was 32 ins.

And they say that size doesn’t matter. Freud would have had a field day.

I don’t know what they do with them all after the show … maybe make the biggest stew in the world. Thus solving global hunger.

You have to be impressed that I’ve done this whole post without making any rude jokes.

So, is that a marrow in your pocket? Or are you just pleased to see me?




dammit

Comments:
OMG. This is the BEST post ever!
Size SO matters!
x
 
Tee hee!

That was great! And some of those vegetables were truly scary.

Can you imagine the tears involved with trying to chop that onion?!
 
Caroline ... there's big ... and there's HUMUNGEOUS! Talk about making your eyes water ...

Angela ... when we were kids in school we'd have leek eating contests on St David's Day ... I was good at it (OK, brilliant) but no way would I go anywhere near some of the things I saw that day!
 
Great post. Those big fellows brightened my day! Love from us both.
 
Giant vegetables (tried a bit of giant marrow once - totally inedible!)are the poor man's equivalent of powerful long red horseless carriages - compensating factors for those lacking in the trouser department! Take my word for it. Personally I prefer baby veg and drive a bubble car - oooer mrs!
 
Duncan ... I'm just glad they feed 'em on Guinness (which I don't like) rather than red wine (which I do)(a lot)(way too much, in fact)!

Anonymous ... More eye watering than mouth watering, actually. So, what happened ... did your mid-life crisis pass you by? Went straight from youth to Sid James?
 
Ahahahahahaha...even just the first 9 words made me laugh
 
Jo ... as I wrote those words, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!
 
Post a Comment



<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?