Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I've taken a fence


In my personal life there are obstacles to me being and doing all I want to. These are fairly easy to identify and not impossible to remove or get through. I think, though, that there will be more as I go along. I'm picturing it as a journey across a landscape. As I climb over a fence into a new field there is a feeling of space for a while until the next fence comes into view.
But the bigger picture that I'm exploring is not about me personally. It's about whether there is "more to life" than just what I usually see and experience. Whether there is a "spiritual" dimension.

I think there is, and I'm interested in understanding how I can freely have access to it ... and it to me.



So what's the problem?

I think it's religion.

It seems that religion gets in the way and forms a very effective obstacle to free and easy access.

I read somewhere that the 'ligion' part of the word 'religion' comes from the same root as the word ligature ... something that is used to tie up or to strangle.

Makes sense.

Priests, rules and regulations, rituals - they all define how, when, where and whether we are allowed to engage with 'spirituality'.

Some (not all) of my most formative spiritual experiences have been mediated to me by others (the new priesthood) and have ended up being used to control me - not liberate me.

When I've sought to express myself I've been told I'm independent, unrealistic, disobedient and even demon-possessed.

I've been told to change my appearance, change my behaviour, tone down my humour and cut my hair.

As you can probably guess, I have rage.

I'm sure many of you have stories you could tell about how religion has been used against you.

My plan is to produce some bigger pictures which have colourful, vibrant backgrounds but with big, f**k-off fences in the foreground (solid, three-dimensional ones). These fences will have religious words, phrases and symbols on them.

That's the plan.

But I'm not going to do it yet.

I'm too angry and I don't handle anger well.

Comments:
"As I climb over a fence into a new field there is a feeling of space for a while until the next fence comes into view."

That phrase really hit me when I read it, and I really think yeah that is exactly how I feel at the moment. I have enjoyed the year of Jubilee we have had coming to Latvia, yes it has had it's challenging moments like having hubby around 24/7 when I am used to time and space on my own but coming out of that year and realising that there has to be some serious planting ahead in order to get a harvest - whatever that means - feels a bit like coming up against that fence. I am not really sure what kind of a fence it is but I have a feeling I need to work that out so I can climb over it, you don't go climbing electric fences without turning the electric off first. Many many thanks for sharing your journey.
 
Pete if you are saying you feel rage about your religious past then I totally agree. I have had a really hard time coming to terms with being what I now consider part of a cult. It is and was totally about control and I want nothing to do with it
 
Pete if you are saying you feel rage about your religious past then I totally agree. I have had a really hard time coming to terms with being what I now consider part of a cult. It is and was totally about control and I want nothing to do with it
 
It's so sad that so much religion has damaged so many people's spirituality (me included). I feel very fortunate to have found the church I belong to now because it truly is focused on spirit, not on rules and so-called "piety". I've never felt so connected to God and the spiritual dimension as I do here. And our priest is constantly giving us tools to help us do that.

I'll keep your searching in my thoughts and prayers.
 
religion... the opiate of the masses..... used to subdue and subjugate.
god is within us all. we have no need of instruction on the spiritual just listen to your little voice and clarity will be beyond the next fence.
Feel the force in your own aura, meld into it and fly.
 
Joanna ... quite a journey you're on! Keep me posted!

Steve ... I wasn't referring to anyone or anything in particular - just to various experiences I've had over the course of my life.

Angela ... good to hear you're in a good place - I can see it in your art.

Anonymous ... I guess being shut out by religion does leave us with the option of discovering spirituality for ourselves.
 
Pete I wasn't meaning any one in particular either I was referring to Church in general and all my experiences of it
 
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