Tuesday, October 25, 2011

An interesting 5 minute video of the "tranny potter", Grayson Perry in his studio.  Lots more vids to watch from the Tate if you like ...


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Short Story

I know I’m not the sharpest button in the colouring box, but listen to this …

My car had been playing up so I went to a local garage. I told the mechanic that it appeared to be overheating, but I could be wrong because I know nothing about cars.

“Let’s have a look at it then” he said. “Oh, I haven’t brought it with me” I replied, feeling a bit daft. I really should have thought to bring the car.

He looked at me as if I was a bit daft, took a deep breath, and asked me to describe what the problem was. As I did so, I caught him looking at me with an expression that said, “You’re special, aren’t you?” In the light of that look I edited what I told him so it wouldn’t sound so bad. That didn’t work.

Here’s what happened …

I was driving back from Cardiff and got stuck in traffic. After a while I noticed steam coming from under the bonnet. “Strange” I thought, “I hope that sorts itself out”. Once I got moving again I couldn’t see any steam so I thought it had. But no. When I next stopped at traffic lights there was even more steam. “This might need seeing to” I thought as I popped into my Auntie’s on the way home.

The next morning I did the sensible thing and checked the water in the coolant tank. There wasn’t any. I poured in a big bottle-full and checked again. There still wasn’t any. “Oh well” I thought, “It must be in there somewhere – it can’t just disappear”. So off I went back into Cardiff.

By the time I was halfway there I could see steam again. And there was a funny smell. But it didn’t seem so bad and I got there OK. Before coming home later in the day I poured another big bottle of water into the engine. It still didn’t seem to fill up though. Driving back, the car was steaming, hissing, smelling, making a funny noise and not accelerating properly. It nearly wasn’t making it up hills. Or gentle inclines. I started to suspect that there was something wrong.

The next morning I got a 5-litre container of water and poured it all in. There was still no sign of it. I was having a difficult time comprehending this. It didn’t make any sense to me. It was like “the great disappearing water trick”. Interesting.

Anyway, off I went again. Everything was fine for a while and I was pleased with myself for dealing with the problem. That lasted until I again stopped at traffic lights. There was a huge amount of steam billowing out. Fortunately, at that moment the lights changed and I was able to pull away.

Hell broke loose.

The car rattled and banged and started losing power. Steam was pouring out.

And smoke.

Smoke was pouring out of the front, back and sides, enveloping the car in a cloud. Sensing there might be a problem, I pulled over to the side of the road and put my hazard warning lights on.

Suddenly, it got worse. Smoke started pouring into the car through the air vents. It filled up surprisingly quickly.

I opened a window.

After a few minutes it cleared so I started the engine and drove home.

Looking back – and judging by the expression on the mechanic’s face as I told him this story – I probably should have got out of the car and walked away. You know, in case it was on fire or something. But I didn’t think of that. All I did was sit there with a little smile on my face, thinking,

“This will make a good story”.

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